4.24.05 Momentary Insight
My day yesterday, was to say the least, conversationally interesting. While making tortillas, I asked John to read my Achieving Euphoria post. So, he did because I asked him, though usually he shrugs off of reading my writing.
Now I know why, but we will get to that in a minute.
I am glad he did because it gave me an uncanny insight into the mind of John. After he read it he asked me: How can you share something like that? (He seemed quite put out about it, not angry, but, just as if it was something he would never in his wildest imaginings ever do, or want to do.) I asked of him: Well, why not? He replied: Because that is so personal. Hell, woman, I've known you for six years and can't seem to talk to you, let alone share something of that nature with complete strangers! (well, not verbatim, but that's the gist of our conversation)
And, then BAM, insight. He doesn't really want to know (even if it is about me); sharing in that manner is uncomfortable for him. I mean, I knew that, but really didn't understand until yesterday. He is just a very private person, so I am sure me writing about him really gripes his butt. On the contrary, I am a very giving, open, sharing person. I like sharing my thoughts with others. I like knowing I am not the only person in the world with petty grievances. I like sharing my life with the world around me. John does not. For him sharing such personal thoughts would be like running naked in New York City traffic for me. (Which I would never do, by the way, well at least not sober...) He said to me: I think you share too much.
So, this is my question for the masses. Do I, have I, am I, sharing too much? Or is it how I perceive it is: That it's exciting to see into the minds of others, intoxicating to know how others think, mesmerizing to glimpse a day in the life of "So and So".
I find it rewarding to know that others read my thoughts. Especially when the say things like: I can so relate to that, Yesterday I went...blah e.t.c... In this way I feel connected to others. A part of the world.
And that my friends is no small thing.
So, let me know what you think, hum? I am interested to know of your thoughts!
Cheers!
Now I know why, but we will get to that in a minute.
I am glad he did because it gave me an uncanny insight into the mind of John. After he read it he asked me: How can you share something like that? (He seemed quite put out about it, not angry, but, just as if it was something he would never in his wildest imaginings ever do, or want to do.) I asked of him: Well, why not? He replied: Because that is so personal. Hell, woman, I've known you for six years and can't seem to talk to you, let alone share something of that nature with complete strangers! (well, not verbatim, but that's the gist of our conversation)
And, then BAM, insight. He doesn't really want to know (even if it is about me); sharing in that manner is uncomfortable for him. I mean, I knew that, but really didn't understand until yesterday. He is just a very private person, so I am sure me writing about him really gripes his butt. On the contrary, I am a very giving, open, sharing person. I like sharing my thoughts with others. I like knowing I am not the only person in the world with petty grievances. I like sharing my life with the world around me. John does not. For him sharing such personal thoughts would be like running naked in New York City traffic for me. (Which I would never do, by the way, well at least not sober...) He said to me: I think you share too much.
So, this is my question for the masses. Do I, have I, am I, sharing too much? Or is it how I perceive it is: That it's exciting to see into the minds of others, intoxicating to know how others think, mesmerizing to glimpse a day in the life of "So and So".
I find it rewarding to know that others read my thoughts. Especially when the say things like: I can so relate to that, Yesterday I went...blah e.t.c... In this way I feel connected to others. A part of the world.
And that my friends is no small thing.
So, let me know what you think, hum? I am interested to know of your thoughts!
Cheers!
posted by Mighty Meagan | 4/24/2005 03:30:00 AM
2 Comments:
Yeah, so this made me tear up sorta. Ok, so, I cried. >.< Sue me.
But, not because I am sad, but because your words touched me.
John isn't really supportive of my writing, before I thought it was because it took me away from our time together, but now I realize it's because he doesn't understand my need of it. Hearing supportive comments from you, someone so close to my heart, was a balm to my soul. It's odd how lost I feel sometimes; though I know I have a man who loves me, he just doesn't wholly understand me. Up to this point I never really realized how much I needed a loved one to support and encourage me.
Mom does, of course, but who can trust a mothers biased opinion? (heh heh)
And, I think, I hope, that if I were to dish out some really crappy writing, you'd let me know.
What else are brothers for?
--So, I guess I will just continue to write what I feel comfortable writing. Too bad my life is unexciting... >.<
Thank you D. It's hard though because sometimes I feel so very selfish :( I will get over it =) (Thank heaven) But, you are essentially right. I need to write and so I should just be able to do it for myself without having approval from others. I need to get over this complex.
I am glad you enjoy seeing life through my eyes. Fact and fiction.
Hugs,
Meagan
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