6.21.05

Good Morning,

I'd like to address a comment that Dark Maiden (Dani) has made on the previous post "The Certainties of Confusion".

Without further ado, I shall begin.

It is one thing to constantly tell myself that "Yes, I will succeed", it is quite another when a friend tells me that I am already succeeding.

I cannot express to you, Dani, how much that comment means to me. Thank you is not enough but, for now, it will have to do. =)

Yes, back in the PN days, I was quite lost. For those of you that do not know what PN stands for: PN or Poetic Nuances was a poetry group on MSN. It is where I met Dani on the Internet. -Side note: A group is a forum of people who gather in a community to discuss like interests. End side note.- I wasn't even sure what I wanted in my life, let alone what I needed. Over the past two years (has it been that long!) I suppose you could say, I found the will to really live my life, as opposed to just existing in it.

Now I feel I have found the drive to create something wonderful of my very own. (Something profitable as well!) Yes, I know that I have created works of my own. My stories, my poetry, and yes I would love to have them published. For me though, that is in the far future, after college. Right now what I need is to concentrate on having a stable financial future, which is no small thing. Making $8.00 an hour is just not cutting it. I am 23 years old, 24 in September, and I have no savings, no investments, no retirement funds; I do not even belong to a 401(k) Plan! So, I needed to find a solution to this problem.

I asked myself, what do successful people have in common? 1. Either they are well educated and work high up in a company for someone else. Or 2. They work for themselves, either owning their own business or subcontracting their talents to other businesses for a price. Of course, I am sure there are many more similarities, but those were what was most important to my situation.

So, the decision to create this business was not made lightly. I knew it would take up most of my spare time and ALL of my spare money, which was never in a huge supply in the first place. But, I did it.

The sense of accomplishment is a heady mixture of pride and fear.

Almost like the time you make your very first from-scratch pie crust. You follow the directions, measuring out the ingredients and mixing them well, then flour your hard surface so you can roll it out to perfection, insert it into the pie plate, then you put on your finishing touches of a pretty crust design. But, you really don't know if you've done it right until the finished product is cooling on the baking rack and you slice out that first piece, still a bit warm, and serve it a-la-mode with a bit of vanilla ice cream.

When the flaky perfection of it melts in your mouth, a certain amount of pride for a job well done settles in the pit of your being; but, the fear is still there. Will you be able to duplicate your efforts to produce such sublime results again? Then you begin to plague yourself with worry and doubt. Was it just beginners luck? Or were your results derived from skill and following direction?

It's those little doubts and worries that I am trying to combat. I know that if I do not address them, they will fester and destroy my efforts without remorse.

I know using pie crust construction is not an extremely good analogy, (unless you bake for a living) because failing to bake a pie crust seems so miniscule compared to failing in a business. The consequences of failure with your pie crust are so much smaller, as you have invested much less time and money; in a business, everything rides on success or failure and you have so much more to loose. Unfortunately, with a business, it is hard to find a good recipe to follow. The correct mixture of your time, (which is invaluable as you can never get it back) your capital investment, and all the emotional effort it takes to really build something substantial are crucial to the end result. Just like the ingredients to the aforementioned pie, your results are based on how you mix them together. Missing a step may not seem detrimental at the time, but your finished product will tell the tale.

So, is any one hungry yet?

I suppose the point of this long reply is to let you all know that this is NOT an easy undertaking. Any Jonny Doe can start a business, but only those who have what it takes will have a business that is successful. I think success is achievable. I had the desire, all I needed was the drive. I have that now and to hear from Dani that she is already seeing success in me and my endeavors. . . . Well, let us just say I think my ego needs deflating.

Once again, thank you Dani.

Until the morrow,
Meagan