4.26.05 Relationship Revitalized (?)

I post the following poem, because today...today he made me happy.

Guess what he did.....come on.... guess!!!

He cleaned house. Did dishes, vacuumed, took out trash, and....

wait for it....

wait for it....

Cooked steak on the grill. (Grins.) Marinated steak even. (Swoons) Who said the way to a man's heart was through his stomach? I know it is with mine. Which is sort of pitiful... but I can live with it.

So, I went back into my poems, got the angriest, most hurtful piece I could find, so that I could remember: Remember what it was like before, and in doing so, fully appreciate the sacrifice he made today to make me happy.


Relationship Suicide
By Meagan Blanchard
1.10.05

Dearest love of my life,

My husband, my lover, my friend
. . . . . . . . .Want me . . . . . . . .
Want me, before my want of you is
Washed away by a tide of bitterness.
Before the sands of my passion are
Formed into angry reefs of rejection.

Want me for life and let not the
Years passing dull our mutual affection.

I am begging
I am pleading…

This passionless companionship
Is banqueting upon the borders
Of my heart; weakening my resolve
To battle for that something more.

The loneliness whispers,
Even though you lay beside me,
Give up; Give in. . . .

O, my love, ‘tis not just lust I am seeking;
Nay, not so commonly uncouth as that!
I can only sigh, for we have traversed
This pebble strewn beach before, have we not?

‘Tis a maze, my love, our relationship;
A maze with no center; no heart..
Why must it be me, I ask
Why must I have this fulfillment;
Can not I be happy as we are?

Many a lady would sell all they own
For just a moment in time,
One perfect second of what we have.

Yet, still, I hunger, I crave,
My being is ravenous for what is missing!
That you thirst for me just as much as I hunger for you.
Lust, love, passion, intimacy. . .
I need it!I want it;
And I shall not be denied!

I bear my insecurities to you,
My soul is not pure, but surely
To someone it is beautiful to behold.

Dearest husband, are you liken to winter?
All frosty chill and death in abundance
Where is your spring, my love, where is
Your life giving breath?

O, darling, do you not feel this need I feel?
To be more. . . .
I have so much to give!
Yet, I cannot give more to this mockery of love!
That I only could, my husband, that I only could. . .

O, God! Just want me!
All of me!
Not just the parts that you like!
Crave all of me.
Hunger for me
Body, heart, mind; my soul!
. . . . . . Want me. . . . . . . . .
Please
. . . . . . Show me. . . . . . . . .

Your loving wife